Dreams: Bats


I dreamed last night that Steven Next Door and I were standing in the kitchen of our house (a weird dream house) and there were five full grown praying mantises lined up along the long skinny back door knob. I suggested Steve get his video camera and he left. The mantises began to move apart then. One was trying to get into the refrigerator. Another walked into the living room and I followed. Steve rejoined me and we noticed one on the sofa. On the back of the sofa was a “decorative throw”: two enormous bats with dog heads whose wings had been painted red, white and blue. Some sort of hideous taxidermy thing, I had always assumed. Then one of the dog heads stretched down and ate the praying mantis. I was horrified that they were actually alive. Steve said that he couldn’t feed them until it was peach season. He was quite nonchalant about the whole starving dog-bat situation. I felt awful for them and wondered what kind of weirdo I married.

Dreams: Thief


I dreamed that I decided to get rid of a bunch of boxes of Christmas stuff that have been cluttering up a closet. I had to be sneaky about it because Steven Next Door would not approve. So, I loaded up my car and drove the stuff to this outdoor consignment (or something) place and placed the boxes on wooden shelves that were set up on a street corner in a very crowded, cramped version of downtown Las Vegas. The guy running the place was busy talking to a cop, so I decided “screw it, I don’t need a receipt” (or whatever he was going to give me) and I knew I had to get to work, so I just left the stuff there. However, I had apparently illegally parked and my car had been towed by the cop talking to the guy. In my car’s place was the cop’s car which was unmarked and exactly like my old champagne colored Ford Taurus. So, being pressed for time, I got in and drove off. (Because stealing cop cars is such a normal thing for me to do.) If I got caught, I planned to tell them I was confused because my old car was exactly like this, until I realized that I haven’t had my Taurus in a long time and they might wonder how anyone could be THAT confused. But, I told myself that Steve would back me up and explain to them that I’m an airhead, so it should work out. Then I noticed that the cop had left a little clipboard on the dashboard and I started to worry more. In addition, the road I was following got me lost and I knew I wouldn’t make it to work within the hour anyway. I wanted to call Steve to give me directions, so I pulled into a strip mall parking lot and there was a group of cops having lunch at a little picnic table. I rolled down my window and called out to them to confess that I had taken the car and one of them, a woman I used to work with named Tere, came running over with her gun drawn screaming and I woke up. **Here’s the kicker: When I logged on to my social networking site the next day, there was a friend request from Tere waiting for me. My little psychic thing was at it again.**